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Asa

[ mewsiks | Ringo declines ]
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Sirin endekt das Geheimnis der Welt [Apr. 22nd, 2007|11:59 pm]
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Metcalf]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]
[music |Wanna Wanna Jesus - Losalios]

A fable I wrote for German class:

Es war eines Tages, vor vielen Jahren, ein Land, das Lapuza hieß, unter einem Schwarzen Mond. Lapuyza war nicht wie die anderen Länder, weil es nicht auf dem Boden lag, und es flog auch nicht im Himmel. Lapuyza wurde durch einen Riesen getragen. Er hieß Veldet und er war der größte, böseste Riese von allen die Riesen in der Welt. Er war der König der Riesen, weil er als Kind den alten König aß. Der König der Riesen bekommt ein Medaillon, der seine Macht darstellt. Auf dem Medaillon, auf dem großen, schuppigen Hand des Riesen lag Lapuzya. Aber Der König der Riesen wußte nicht, daß auf seiner Hand eine Stadt der leckeren Menschen lag, und die Stadt der Lapuzya kannten nicht auch, daß die Erdbeben, die sie so gut kannten, die Bewegung des Reisen war.

Wegen des Erdbebens konnten die Lapuzyaren oft aus der Stadt nicht ausgehen. Es war zu gefärhlich, und Leute, die ausgingen, kamen nie zurück. Die Leute allmählich vergaßen, daß es jenseits von der Stadt und dem Wald andere Länder gab. Deswegen blieb Lapuzya sehr klein. Auch konnten die Leute niemals die Wettermuster oder eben einmal die Jahreszeiten voraussagen, weil der Riese immer zu Fuß um das Land ging, und jedes Land hatte ein anderes Klima. Eines Tages könnte es regen wie im Frühling geben, am nächten Tag könnte es schnee wie im Winter geben, am nächsten Tag könnte windig und kalt wie im Herbst sein, am nächten Tag könnte sonnig und warm wie im Sommer sein. Also, die Ernte war immer nicht so gut und die Leute von Lapuzya waren oft hungrig.

Im Lapuzya lebte ein schönes Mädchen, das Sirin hieß. Sie war nicht so groß und sie hatte langes, schwarzes Haar. Ihre Augen waren braun und ihre Pupillen waren wie die Sterne im Himmel. Sirin war ein bisschen besonders, weil sie die Sprache der Riesen verstehen konnte. Jedoch wußte sie, daß es einen Riesen gab. In ihrem Traum hörte sie die furchtbare Stimme des Riesen im Kopf. Aber, sie wußte nicht so bestimmt, wessen laute Stimme, die sie hörte, war. Also ist es nicht so überraschend, daß sie immer zu Hause nicht bleiben konnte.

Die meisten Lapuzyeren waren unpersönlich und haben wenig Interesse für alles ausserhalb der Stadt. Aber, Sirin war sehr unterschiedlich, denn sie liebte Abenteuer und Spaß und sie konnte nicht in der Stadt ruhig bleiben. Darum ging Sirin eines tag in den Wald, der um die Stadt stand, aus. da sah sie, daß es keinen Baum im Wald gab. Es gab nur große, lange, schwarze Pfosten, die höher als ein Baum waren, aber kein Baum waren. Sie ging zu Fuß ein bisschen weiter und sie fand sich in einem Tal. Das Tal war ein komische Farbe von Blau und ein bisschen Grau. Über den Boden liefen viele verbundene Sprünge. Fast sah es wie die Schuppen von einem Drachen aus. Sirin sah einen Sprung, der ausdehnte, insoweit das Auge sehen kann und sie entschied, den Sprung zu Ende zu folgen.

Als sie zu fuß ging, hörte sie eine laute, furchtbare Stimme vom Himmel.
 "Oi, Temdu! Temdu ikawie heimakka?" sagte die Stimme vom Himmel. Sirin war am ende vom Sprung angekommen. Hinter ihr gab es nur Wald und Tal und vor ihr sah sie nichts. Am Ende vom Sprung gab es nichts, nur Luft und Wolken!
"Habe ich das Ende der Welt gefunden?" Dachte sie. Dann schaute sie nach oben, und da sah sie ein enormes Auge! Es war größer als die ganze Stadt, nee, als ihre ganze Welt. Danach hörte sie die unheimliche Stimme wieder. Sie brüllte "Ire temdu dekshen so! Narnm Ninschen nim Irem Tend agib?" Und das furchtbare Auge blinkte ein mal und neugierig schaute das Mädchen.

"Ich habe irgendwo diese komische Sprache gehört." dachte das Mädchen. "aber, ich kann mich nicht erinnern, ob es in der Schule, oder in der Kirche, oder zu Hause war." und dann erinnerte sie sich. "Ach! Ich höre diese Sprache in meinem Traum nächtlich!" Sofort begann sie, die Sprache des Riesen zu verstehen und mit ihm zu sprechen.

„Wer bist du denn!? Warum gibt es einen kleinen Riesen auf meiner Hand?" fragte der Riese. Sirin war erstaunt und antwortete, "Ich bin kein hässlicher Riese! Ich bin ein Mensch!" und sie steckte ihm die Zunge heraus. Der Riese wurde beleidigt und er nahm das Mädchen in seine Finger und fragte sie, "Menschen? Ich weiß nicht, was ein Mensch ist! Du siehst mir wie nur ein kleiner Riese aus." Als das Mädchen stand auf dem Finger des Riese, konnte sie endlich sein ganzes Gesicht sehen.

Seine Haut war zwischen grau und blau in Farbe und es gab keine Haare auf seinem Kopf. Seine Nase war groß wie ein Berg. Wirklich, es war ein Berg! Bis jetzt haben die Lapuzyaren die Nase "Schwakkuro Berg" gennant. Für sie war es ein sehr komischer Berg, der nur einmal pro Jahr erscheint. Seine Augen waren groß und blutunterlaufen. Die Lapuzyaren hatten immer gedacht, daß diese Augen Himmelskörper war. Die Lapuzyaren hatten gedacht, daß Das Blut der Schwanz eines Komet waren. Jährlich beteten die Kinder der Lapuzya zu diesem Komet um gutes Getreide zu ernten. Aber, Sein Mond war groß wie die Mond, schwarz wie die Nacht  nee, er war der schwarze Mond, die Lapuzyaren als Chefgott vergötternten. Der Mond war der Schreckhafteste Teil des Gesichts. Darin gab es: Die Zähne, die die Sterne gewesen waren, waren Gelb, hässlich und verfault; Seine Zunge war der große, schleimige, hungrige Himmelleviathan der Legende.


"Wieder frage ich dich, wie heißt du! Ich bin Veldet. König der Riesen und Gott von Allen!" Sagte er. Das Mädchen war erstaunt und antwortete, "Du bist ein König? Du bist ein Gott? Trotzem weißt du nicht, wer auf deinem Körper lebt? Du willst, daß ich das glaube? Du bist aber dumm!" und es lachte.

Nachdem hatte der Riese diese Wörter gehört, ging der Riese in die Luft! Ohne ein weiteres Wort aß der Riese das Mädchen. Er konnte den Geschmack des Mädchens nicht schmecken, weil es zu klein war. Sondern, es war ihm, als ob er nur Luft und Wolken gegessen hatte.
 Aber, im Körper des Rieses passierte etwas. Mt Schwakkuro begann zu zittern. Die Sterne blinkten schnell und gingen aus, wie eine tote Lampe. Der Komet erschien nur einmal mehr, und dann ging er für immer aus. Endlich öffnete der Mond sich, und daraus fiel der rosa Leviathian. Dann machte sich der Mond für immer zu. Der schwarze Mond, der die Lapuzyaren immer gewacht hatten, war tot.
Plötzlich gab es das größte Erdbeben seit immer. Es war das Fallen des Königs der Riesen. Wenn er die Geschichte der Riesen gut gekannt hätte, hätte er gewußt, daß Menschen für Riesen ein Gift sind. Er war von einem kleinen, süßen Mädchen getötet worden. Die ersten Könige machten das Medaillon um die bösen Könige von der Zukunft zu kontrollieren. Wenn ein schlecter König erscheint, ist eine neugerige Person geboren. Diese Person wird ausgehen und wird von dem König gegessen, um zu alles retten. Sirin war diese Person dieses mal und wegen ihres Opfers wurde Lapuzya die schönste Stadt in der Welt. Nachdem die Erdbeben aufgehört hatten, begannen die Lapuzyaren aus der Stadt abzureisen. Also bevölkten die Leute den ganzen Körper des Riesen. Und weil die Stadt endlich stationär war, könnten die Leute gute Getreide zu ernten, denn das Wetter war vorraussagbar. Der Körper des Veldet wurde die grönste Land in der Welt. Er wurde ein mit der Umwelt und ein schöner Wald wuchs auf ihm.

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Erste [Apr. 11th, 2007|12:16 pm]
[Current Location |in der Bibliothek]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |JUDE - Charming Bloody Tuesdaz]

Ich habe entschieden, daß von hier an dieses Tagebuch auf Deutsch sein werde. Seit diesem Semester belege ich ein Deutschkurs an der  Uni. Es macht mir viel Spaß aber mein Deutsch ist noch Scheiße.

Teil eins:
.:ein Brief zum Gott:.
Lieber Gott,
Warum müssen wir Klugheitzähne haben? Sie geben uns nur Schmerzen und Elend. Wir haben schon genug Zähne zu Essen und Kauen. Und vergisse nicht!, Daß gibt es kein Platz im Mond für diesen Zähne! Das ist ein großer Designfehler Gott!
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Holiday [Feb. 28th, 2007|12:04 pm]
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Bibliothek]
[mood |blankmissing something]
[music |Sherbets - Hippie Junky Surfer]

If there is such a thing as a soul, I think mine is on holiday today.
I recoil from warmth, I flee from contact, I'm repulsed by the words "How are you?". I'm thrown into confusion and desperate for escape from them all. I suppose my soul contains(or took with it) all of my friendliness and curiosity.
 I have either a heavy weight or a heavy hole somewhere around my center. Maybe my soul left a rock there as a placeholder? That would be a good sign of its intention to come back someday.
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Hah [Feb. 28th, 2007|09:08 am]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Sherbets - The King and the Beggar]

I forgot I had an LJ XD
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sad songs [May. 9th, 2006|10:29 pm]
[Current Location |dormtown]
[mood |soreill]
[music |Shiina Ringo - Kareha]

lately I just gravitate towards sad songs.
The funny thing is, that often I gravitate towards certain songs without really understanding the lyrics. Eventually I'll listen hard and get them... and they turn out to be almost exactly what was on my mind the whole time. It's really creepy/cool and happens on a regular basis. Maybe the music of the song just effectively represents the mood? Perhaps on some level I understand the lyrics and so can't help listening to it until I finally consciously take note of the words?
The song of the moment is Autumn Leaves. The Shiina Ringo cover. On a whim I sent it to a friend on MySpace because I thought she'd appreciate the beautiful sound of it. Well actually it brought tears to her eyes, just the music. When she read the lyrics it happened again. Lately I can't get enough of this kind of music.

Oh... je voudrais tant que tu te souviennes
Des jours heureux òu nous étions amis
En ce temps-là, la vie était plus belle
Et le soleil, plus brillant qu'aujourd'hui
Les feuilles mortes se ramassent à la pelle
Tu vois, je n'ai pas oublié
Les feuilles mortes se ramassent à la pelle
Les souvenirs et les regrets aussi
Et le vent du nord les emporte
Dans la nuit froide de l'oubli
Tu vois, je n'ai pas oublié
La chanson que tu me chantais...

C'est une chanson que nous ressemble
Toi tu m'aimais, et je t'aimais
Nous vivions tous les deux ensemble
Toi qui m'aimais, moi qui t'aimait
Mais la vie sépare ceux qui s'aiment
Tout doucement, sans faire de bruit
Et la mer efface sur le sable
Les pas des amants désunis.

The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold
Since you went away the days grew long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall



It rather makes me want to learn French.
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A new pattern noticed [May. 3rd, 2006|06:33 pm]
[Current Location |library]
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]
[music |Luna Sea - Sweetest Coma Again]

This one involves retracting. Since the start of this semester I've been steadily shrinking my social circle and closeness with people I've come to realize. Steadily actually sounds like too weak a word. Really it's more as if I've a social tree, and each time I powerfully hack off a formerly strong limb of it.

The first branch, the biggest one at the time, to get the axe was the Karen one(ex-girlfriend). It took the most work too: getting into a habit of never calling or writing or expecting anything. Eventually destroying almost all items I had in relation to her. Finally settling into a mode where I can not have any communication with her and be heiki(fine). Complete amputation. Amputation's a good word, since she was formerly like an extension of myself.

After that one though I did it again, this time with a formerly close friend from all throughout freshman year to until 3rd semester. My explanation at the time was that I was tired of the way he played people in life as though they were pieces on a chessboard.(though I think everyone including myself uses other people in some way... so for me it's a very weak excuse). Also him calling me at midnight on my birthday so he could drunkenly rant about his failed romantic conquests was good motivation as well, but not the base of it. I removed Vance from my life: not returning his calls, or IMs. Engaging in only shallow conversations when I would run into him, and usually saying I was going to work when he'd ask about my whereabouts. I may or may not have actually been on my way to work at the time.

A third time I did it, this time with a former classmate from my high school named Ashley that I'd even been a little romantically interested in. At the time I was really annoyed with her tendency to rail against all things technological(like internet communication) as if they were little more than a pale imitation of life and lacking in substance. As someone who's relied on the internet for a lot of communication that was close to my heart this really dug at me. I was getting pretty good at cutting people out at this point, and this was made easier because she was giving up IMing for lent. I did it again: not responding to emails or comments.

The final intentional cutting was the most surprising and most sudden: My ex-girlfriend Tomoko. Since we broke up in a few years ago we maintained a very close relationship, that of best friends despite being separated by an ocean and a lot of continent. We'd chat almost daily and in a habit of phoning a few times a week. A couple weeks ago I stopped talking to her. I didn't give her a reason, though I've come to realize it's because I'm annoyed with her going out with the third American soldier in a row. I have this intense dislike of American soldiers for some reason. I dunno when it started, but sometime last year I thought about them and felt this powerful anger against them and soldiers in general. I know it's none of my business who she dates so I don't directly give her any crap about it. But I really don't feel any desire to communicate with her either. So I did it again.

So how do I do this? In each instance I feel wronged by the individual. Since there's always a clear trigger for the cessation of communication. Dumping, feeling used, stinging remarks, jealousy/soldiers. But instead of working out these potentially solvable grievances, I just drop them instead. Like a university course that wasn't going well. After I do it I don't feel anything in particular either. I don't feel bad, I don't/hardly ever feel lonely for them. In contrast I feel a bit good... free. And I move on with my life.
I look back in hindsight, from an objective point of view and think "hmmm... most people would call that a flaky asshole thing to do". Though it still doesn't bother me too much, it makes me wonder what is this thing called friendship? What is it and its value if I can cut people I formerly considered "best friends" out of my life, quickly adjust and not even care anymore? Maybe they were never truly close friends to begin with... and there was something missing, some lack of connection that let's me do this? Maybe I get a sense of power at being able to to control this part of my life or impact the feeling of others?

Maybe it's really that my most powerful reproach to someone I feel anger toward is to give them the message "I don't need you anymore" and then to make it true. Though I never realized I was doing it until today. Here's hoping I don't wake up one day soon to find the tree totally bare.

Goddamn I'm passive aggressive.
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*Steals from tilyoureyesopen* [Apr. 24th, 2006|11:00 pm]
[mood |blahblah]
[music |Shiina Ringo - Yukiguni(snow country)]

Go to your music player, set it to shuffle/random, and answer the following questions with the title of the FIRST song that you skip to each time. No cheating!

If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:
"Atashi wo Mitsukete"(Find me)

The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:
"Standing Sex" XD right

Your favorite thing to say when your drunk is:
"shalala"

Your message to the world:
"Gimme your love"

Your deepest secret:
"I Can't Stop Loving you"

Your innermost desire:
"Katamari Stars"

Your oldest memory makes you think of:
"Love is Dead"

Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:
"the Day Dragged on"

On your deathbed, you'll whisper:
"HELLO MY LIFE"

Your friends say behind your back:
"Battle Against Clown" XD I wish my friends were this awesome

You say behind your friends' back:
"Like Spinning Plates"

Your opinion of MySpace/Livejournal:
"another world" I agree with this one =/

When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:
"A Crimson Rose and a Gin Tonic" Haha!

If you found yourself lost on a desert island, you'd yell:
"Endless Rain"

Right now, your feelings are:
"The Sky, the Clouds and You"

What's your excuse for reposting this bulletin?:
"I'm Standing Here"

Your life's soundtrack:
"Wisemen's Kung-fu"

Your farewell message to the readers of this post:
"You are smart"

this was fun.
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relationships... -_-; [Apr. 10th, 2006|02:31 am]
[mood |soresore]
[music |B'z - Love Phantom]

So today Karen, my ex-girlfriend, contacted me again. I'm pretty ambivalent about contact with her. It burns me when I hear of her living happily with her new boyfriend after she dumped me.(over her unability to cope with long distance). Just seeing an away message of hers that she was at his place made my fingers fly to the "remove buddy" command so I wouldn't have to think about it. At the same time it's a slightly pleasant surprise because there's that twinge of hope that our relationship will mend and messages between us will be things to look forward to again.
Yet to happen.
Usually when I do hear from her it's about a DVD she wants back or to share some book or random piece of music I'm not really interested in.

The last time however, it was something else. She messaged me a little past midnight, and started asking me these "oh, you of all people shouldn't be asking me these things" kind of questions...
"Are you happier since we broke up?"
"Are you seeing someone new?"
"Do you miss me?"

I'm vexed that after breaking up with me and burning me so badly she comes along and starts asking these "I want love and attention" type of questions. ><

Then tonight she contacts me again. This time to see if I had sent her DVD yet. Of course I hadn't. I had lost her address again. The DVD thing rather amuses me... In New York City in my grandfather's apartment building I knew a small boy who really liked my grandad. When it was time for him to leave he would "forget" a matchbox car at my granddad's and eventually have to come back again for it. I know that as long as I have the DVD she'll probably contact me to get it back. It's a pretty awful habit isn't it? I really just need to let go completely. I'll send the DVD tomorrow. EDIT: sent.

She also asked about a Sega Saturn I presented her with when she visited a bit before we split. I flatly told her I wasn't giving it to her. Yes, I'm a takerbacker =P Not cause I'm mad at her anymore... She's just forfeit gift privileges of that level in my eyes. I can't think of anyone, bar my currently non-existent children, that I would give a Saturn to now, let alone her now that her status has changed.
She seemed pretty hurt/angry about it though. That was pretty much the tone of the rest of the conversation...

but guess what?

I was actually REALLY nice the rest of the time! I was talking to her right after kendo and feeling really good and happy! I was friendlier to her than I've been in months! In contrast, she was more bitter and contemptful than i've seen her since we split. The tables totally turned. =P
From the rest of the conversation what i gathered is that she really misses me, is unhappy and maybe depressed because of it. She said some pretty dark stuff and then lamented about missing her best friend.(i assume that's me) That kinda explains the Saturn anger. Another blatant message to her that says "I'm not your best friend anymore and your priority in my life is very very low". Still.. what can I say about that? I made her my priority for the longest time, only to get burned by her. I'm just not inclined to do it again, let alone be a best friend again so soon after.
Regardless, When I expressed concern she promptly told me to leave her alone. Not much I can say to that. I've experience with her telling me to leave her alone. I knew if I tried to press her she'd just shutdown. That part of her always vexed me. =/ So I told her I'd be there if she changed her mind and left her alone. All you can do when someone says go away isn't it?
Still, she'll probably bounce back soon enough. She has a way of doing that. She'll be free of her need for me before I know it. Though I fear I make better progress with that than she does.

(An ironic point: While we were we breaking up she complained that "it wasn't a relationship" because of the distance. Well, after she got what she wanted we truly don't have a relationship of any sort at all. =/ )
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there's actually a method to this [Apr. 9th, 2006|11:38 pm]
[mood |gigglyendorphin high!]
[music |B'z - Swimmer Yo 2001!]

Ok, so I have two blogs now.
http://www.blogpod.com/Users/strngkmlon/Blog/

That is where I, for the most part, plainly remember the events of the day.
Livejournal is where I go when I feel inspired and have something I can write at length about! I can't do that on command =P It takes a geyser of inspiration or something I can't get off my mind. Like buttcracks and perfume apparently.

However I feel like keeping a daily journal is a good thing, even if it's really sparse. So I made this other blog...also because a friend twisted my arm(incidentally that's how I ended up getting a livejournal in the first place. hehe)
So yeah, if you feel like seeing what Teulinunjamok aka Asa did today, then feel free to check out the other one. It has a pretty nice minimalist layout too. =D

EDIT: haha! it would be awesome if I tried to do that one in Haiku form! maybe I'll give a shot tomorrow XD
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Revelations~ [Apr. 8th, 2006|01:48 am]
[Current Location |dorm fort!]
[mood |amusedvery amused]
[music |The pillows - I want to live like that]

So on the way to Olga's today I had a revelation.
But I need to give some background before getting to that.

A few days ago I had a dilemma. In archaeology of death class I sat, diligently writing notes, and sometimes inscribing "I love egg!" in Korean in the margin of my notebook. Eventually after finishing one section of notes my eyes shift from my paper to the teacher, as is natural. On the way however they get caught on something. Something pretty eye-catching. The girl in front of me had shifted in her chair, and in the act, unintentionally revealed her buttcrack to the world. I think most would agree that this is a bad thing. The lower torso equivalent of a green gold visible in a nose or broccoli in your teeth. In either of those cases it's in the best interest of the unknowing victim of their own body to inform them somehow. I figured this would hold true for a peeking crack as well. But you know... "crack" is a funny word. It's a part of the body... there's no other real term for it that I know of... yet it's taboo! The use of it is very tricky. It's hard to tell someone their crack is showing. Even when you're only doing it for their own good, they'll likely be offended or think you're pervy.(which seems like pretty backwards to me. someone pervy probably wouldn't tell you...) Anyway, i struggled with this for a while, and eventually decided to tell her as politely as possible via a note. How this ended doesn't matter. The point is that I had the guts/nerve/courage to tell a girl her buttcrack was showing.

Now, let's jump 2 hours into the future. I'm in Korean class sitting next to Jen Park. I find Jen Park pretty attractive, and that day she had some perfume on that I found really really nice smelling. All throughout the class I want to tell her that she's smells great that day. But I don't. I can't. I fail to fulfill this desire. It doesn't matter that it's a nice thing to say. That she would probably be happy to hear it.

Now today, I'm walking down the street and reflecting on the week... and suddenly, bam I smile when these two memories neatly click together. I could tell a girl her buttcrack was showing, one of THE most embarrassing things you can possibly tell someone, yet I couldn't tell a girl that she smelled great. That's very messed up don't you think? I find the irony of this extremely amusing I have to say. I was walking with a huge smile on my face all the way down Thayer. A very difficult feat under normal circumstances let me tell you.

I have this fear of ever revealing to anyone that I find them attractive. I attribute it to fear of the stigma that comes with coming out as a sexual creature, despite how utterly natural it is to be that. It sucks. =/ but little revelations like this are helpful in surmounting that methinks =)

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